Porn For Couples
Written By: C. Michael Smith

Perhaps you're a couple looking for erotic videos to watch together. Maybe you're a guy looking to introduce erotic videos to your lady. Or, possibly, you're a lady who's curious about erotic videos. In any case, it's likely that you're a bit hesitant or even a little (or a lot) pessimistic about your options. Well, you're not alone.

Adult videos are very popular. According to a 1999 survey by the Free Speech Coalition, adult retailers claimed a total of 686 million rentals of adult videos in 1998. And according to Adult Video News, an industry trade magazine, the purchase and rental of adult videos was a $4 Billion business last year.

So, who's renting and buying all of these videos? Well, I have news for you. It's not just the dirty old man in a raincoat. People from all persuasions, occupations, and walks of life are enjoying erotic videos. The largest audience is still men, as most erotic videos are still being made with men in mind, but the ladies are growing in viewership, also, as more and more erotic titles are being made with the ladies in mind. In fact, according to a poll conducted by the Ladies Home Journal in 1997, 47% of respondents enjoy using erotica or pornography for sexual arousal, enjoyment, and sexual pleasure. I believe we can greatly increase the chances for female enjoyment (and therefore couple's enjoyment) of erotic videos if we keep a few things in mind. Let's discover some of these things together, now.

Let's talk about how erotic videos can improve your relationship as a couple, let's discuss some things to look out for while watching erotic videos, let's explore some ways to help you pick out the right erotic video for the two of you, let's develop a great game plan for introducing erotic videos to your reluctant partner, and finally, let's learn some new games you can play with your partner while watching erotic videos. Let's get started, shall we?

How can your Relationship Benefit from Erotic Videos? Enjoying erotic videos together can provide several benefits to your relationship as a couple. Consider the following:

Aids in Arousal: Watching an erotic video can get the juices flowing and help get you in the mood.

New Ideas: You're bound to see some fun positions, new sexual techniques, and role playing ideas that you've never tried before.

Fantasy Value: Erotic videos can help you explore fantasies and fulfill them from a distance. This is great for when one or both partners have fantasies that you'd rather not act out, but would still like to explore. For instance, if she has a fantasy about having sex with two men at the same time, but he doesn't want to share his lady with another man, then you could watch a video of this together to explore this fantasy and live it out from a distance, without actually doing it yourself.

Aids in Sexual Release when Away from Partner: Erotic videos can help relieve sexual tension when the two of you can't be together, physically.

Most Erotic Videos are Unrealistic: Mainstream erotic videos are oftentimes VERY unrealistic. Consider the following things that make porn unrealistic:

Horrible/Unrealistic Plot: You've seen it. The delivery man comes to the door, talks to the lady of the house for 30 seconds, they rip each other's clothes off, and have sex up against the delivery truck. Most porn is designed, produced, and marketed to appeal to men, not women.

"I mainly dislike mainstream visual porn because, well, quite frankly, I'm not the intended audience. Mainstream porn is very male-fantasy driven, obviously." Grrlnextdoor, 30

Cheesy/Cruddy Sound: Sometimes the music in some videos can make you laugh instead of turn you on. Or you try to get into whatever dialog there is, but you can barely make it out.

Repetitive Dialog or Video: Have you ever been watching a porn and you see the exact same thing happen several times with in the same scene? You ARE seeing EXACTLY the same thing. That's because the video is looped to make the scene last longer.

Too Boring: Parts of the movie seem to drag on and on, so keep the remote handy and keep your finger on the Fast Forward button.

Unattractive Men: A lot of women who have watched any porn at all complain about this. Since porn is made mostly for men, a lot of the male actors seem to be picked based on the size of their penis and their ability to ejaculate on command, rather than for their looks.

The Money Shot: In the majority of erotic videos, the guy pulls out of the vagina when he cums, and ejaculates all over the lady's body, face, or vulva. This is done for the benefit of the male viewer, not for the female in the video. Many ladies may not like this in real life.

Too Formulaic: Since the majority of porn viewers are men looking for a masturbation outlet, the makers of most erotic videos believe porn has to get to the point as quickly as possible in order to keep the interest of the horny guy watching the tape. Therefore, they have developed a formula that they seem to use over and over and over again. They do 'x' for 2 minutes, then they do 'y' for 3 minutes, then have sex in 'position a' for 1 minute, then switch to 'position b' for 2 minutes. You get the idea.

Bad Things Porn Can Teach Us (If We Aren't Careful): While there are some things you can learn while watching erotic videos, there are some other things that you want to be sure NOT to learn. Most porn contains unrealistic expectations of sex. Be sure not to develop any of these unrealistic sexual expectations or bad habit.

Unrealistic Appearing Women: Most videos feature model looking actresses with Barbie doll bodies. These are fantasy women. Most real women don't look like that, so don't expect them to. You can search out tapes that feature only amateurs, or all-natural beauties, if you'd prefer a more realistic lady.

Unrealistic Penis Size: I've heard of guys that actually develop a complex after seeing the unusually large penises that porn studs are sporting. That makes sense if you are a guy that hasn't seen many other penises on real guys and your only other exposure to penises besides your own are the giant cockasauruses on the porn movies you watch. There ARE big penises out there, but watching many porn movies would lead you to believe that everyone has one like that, and that just isn't true.

Unrealistic Stamina: Again, don't judge yourself against how long a porn stud can last. Besides, he gets the benefit of tape editing that can make him last forever, if they wanted to. In most porns, the man orgasms and then the sex is over. In some scenes, you even see one of the actors leave the scene or head for the shower at this point. This is WAY unrealistic. It's not over until BOTH parties are ready for it to be over. Unrealistic Sex Positions. While you CAN learn a new sex position or two from watching erotic videos, please keep in mind that many of the positions shown are not used for the benefit of the best stimulation of either actor involved, but rather used for the benefit of the camera angle to allow the viewer at home a better shot of the action.

Women Left Out: It seems that most videos tend to ignore the pleasure and orgasm of the lady involved. They just don't show us a good example of how to truly pleasure a woman in bed. Just know that if you do this in real life, I can't imagine you'll likely get too many repeat performances. Don't Always Show Safe Sex. Although the porn industry tests the actors and has safe sex standards, the viewer doesn't always get to see this in the form of condom usage. Most of what the porn industry does about safe sex is done behind the scenes. So, just because you don't see them using condoms doesn't mean that you shouldn't use them, either.

Choosing the Right Erotic Video: We've just discussed many reasons that porn is oftentimes unrealistic or just downright hilarious. I believe guys are less concerned about this, as our usual main objective to watching porn is to masturbate to orgasm, and we just don't really need a great plot, believable characters, or good acting to accomplish this. We are visually stimulated and the majority of us want to get right to the action. Well, that's fine if you are alone, but many ladies are more likely to die laughing than enjoy that kind of movie or find it erotic. But it doesn't have to be that way. Picking out the right video can make a world of difference. There ARE good videos out there. Let's talk about how to find one that you can BOTH enjoy together.

"We do watch erotic movies on occasion. Our problem is finding a "good" one that's interesting to watch for more than 5 minutes. My husband and I both seem to prefer erotic videos that at least make some sort of attempt at a plot, as opposed to what I would consider true pornographic movies." Amy, 28

Women will typically respond better to videos with more romance, a lot of touching, interesting storylines, better plot development, better actors, more interesting characters, great costuming, elaborate sets, attention to cinematography, good lighting, and directors that take their job seriously. Look for women-friendly videos from producers such as Candida Royale, Andrew Blake, and Wicked Pictures.

Candida Royale is an ex-porn star who created her own women-friendly line of videos. Her videos tend to feature more realistic looking women and storylines that women will find more erotic. Her 'Femme Productions' has a huge following.

Andrew Blake videos are still made mostly with the men in mind, but the women will likely appreciate the higher production quality, the elaborate sets, and the beautiful scenes that Andrew Blake movies are known for.

Wicked Pictures videos are high quality videos that appeal to women and couples.

There are also a lot of specialty tapes that you may wish to take a look at together for the purposes of exploring your fantasies. While these tapes may not be women-friendly, they still may be fun to watch together if you have always wondered about a certain type of sex and wish to explore it together. There are literally thousands of titles to fulfill nearly every (legal) fantasy or desire you could possibly imagine - and then some. Pick you pleasure.

Did you know that there are tapes dealing specifically with: amateur, anal, anime, Asian, bi, big cocks, bukake, big breasts, big & heavy, bondage, cartoons, cheerleaders, comedy, deepthroat, double penetration, ebony, educational, facials, female ejaculation, gangbangs, gay, grandmas, hairy, interracial, Latina, lesbian, lingerie, masturbation, oral, orgy, over 40, over 50, swingers, threesomes, toes, toys, transgender, voyeurism, watersports, and young ladies, just to name a few?

Where/How to Purchase Erotic Videos: You can purchase erotic videos from your local adult book store, but many people don't want to or don't like to go into these places. If you've never been in an adult bookstore, or if it's been awhile, you may be in for a surprise. Many adult bookstores have changed over the last few years. No longer are they all dark, seedy places that make you uncomfortable. A few are still like that, but most have made changes to appeal more to women and couples. You'll find many of them well lit and well stocked with friendly, knowledgeable staff, ready to answer your questions and lead you in the right direction. But just in case you still aren't comfortable with this option, I wanted to offer you a few others.

"You can rent erotic videos from many of your favorite local video stores. You can order videos online from Adam&Eve.Com or from another erotic video retailer. The advantage to this method is that there are a lot of titles to choose from, so you can get exactly what you want. Also, the videos can be ordered without you having to face someone to pay for them, then they will be discreetly shipped to your door, so no one will be the wiser. If you are worried about not getting something you are going to like why not try a service like WantedList.ComThis service offers you the chance to try before you buy. Compile a list of Dvds you would like to watch and they will send you them out, watch and if you enjoy you have the option to buy!

First Video Recommendations: Here's a little help in selecting your first title.

Check out Libida.com's list of women-friendly videos HERE . Check out these videos that are designed to teach as well as arouse.

Jenne from Clitical.com recommends award-winning director, Candida Royale's 'Eyes of Desire' series as a great place to start. This is a best selling, couples-oriented video series with high quality camera work and fantastic actors.

If you want to start off with something more tame, but erotic just the same, then consider hot, R rated movies, like '9 ½ Weeks' to break the ice. You may find that women prefer these, anyway, as they are very hot, but still leave a lot to the imagination.

Introducing Erotic Videos To Your Partner: It can be fun and exciting to introduce your partner to erotic videos. How you go about introducing them can make or break the deal, many times. Here are some tips to help you along:

Address concerns. If your partner has concerns about watching erotic videos, then you'll have to address these first before you're going to get too far in getting them to watch with you.Pick out the video together. Choose a video that is couple-friendly, to make the best first impression. Be sure to ask your partner what they'd like to see.

Arouse your partner before you turn the video on. You'll have a much more receptive partner this way, rather than relying on the video alone to arouse them. Be prepared with all the supplies you need. Once you have your partner aroused, you don't want to have to leave the room for lube, condoms, or towels.

Hold each other close and engage in a lot of touching while watching the video.

Games to Play: Watching erotic videos can add some fun to your sex life, too. Here are a few games to play with your partner while watching videos.

Erotic Isolation Game: This game is best played after you have watched a few videos together in the past. The reason I don't think it's a great idea for first time viewers is due to the fact that you must sit apart from each other for this game. Here's how to play: For this game, put on an erotic video, but sit apart from each other, naked. Absolutely no touching each other for a preset period of time - say 30 minutes. You MAY touch yourself, but must not reach orgasm. All you can do is watch the video and let the erotic tension inside you build until time is up. When time is up, you can do anything you wish. Just be careful not to wake the neighbors, as you're likely to make love like ravenous beasts.

Erotic Imitation Game: Watch an erotic movie and recreate the scenes with your partner.

Conclusion: Erotic videos can be fun, sexy, exciting, beneficial, and entertaining for couples to watch together. You can minimize the bad elements in erotic videos provided you take the time to search out titles that are couple-friendly. In time, you'll discover a certain genre, certain actors, or certain production companies that deliver exactly what works best for the two of you. In the meantime, experiment with different titles and genres and don't forget to have fun!