There are some situations in life that many of us would rather
never face and having to tell your partner that you tested positive
for an STD probably ranks highly among such things, but it's something
that needs to be faced for your sake, their sake and the sake
of the community.
This is especially true if you are in a regular sexual relationship
with your partner as unless they get treated many STD's will simply
passed back and forth between you and your partner. It's also
worth remembering that many STD's that can be easily treated with
antibiotics, if left untreated can cause serious damage to your
partners body.
Before you even attempt to tell your partner you need to come
to terms with your own diagnoses. It's not realistic to expect
them to come to terms with the news if your not comfortable with
the diagnosis yourself. Get informed, ask questions of your health
giver and if they offer you leaflets /brochures that contain the
facts take them.
If your nervous about talking to your partner/s, here are a few
tips that may help you gain the confidence you need:
1] Prepare
what you are going to say first. Practice makes perfect as they
say. Spend some time rehearsing what you are going to say and
how.
2] Choose
a neutral setting and a time when you won't get distracted or
interrupted.
3] Speak with confidence. Don't lecture or act like your confessing,
what you are doing is sharing important perennial information.
4] Stay calm. If your upset it's reasonable for your partner to
assume that things are worse than you may be letting on.
5] Expect your partner to be supportive. People often react the
way you expect them to.
6]
Remember the way you deliver the news, your body language becomes
part of your message as well.
7] Whenever possible deliver the news in person. Telling your
partner over the phone is probably not a good idea! Ask yourself
which senario you would prefer.
Be prepared for a variety of reactions from your partner. Of course
your diagnoses probably knocked you sideways, but you've had time
to adjust and get more info, your partner hasn't as yet. Remember
how you felt when you heard the news for the first time and how
your health care provider treated you and apply that to your own
partners.
Be prepared for shock, denial, anger and pity. Nobody is saying
this is going to be easy but give your partner a little time and
present them with the facts, allow them to ask questions and hopefully
your partner will treat the subject with maturity and concern
for both of you. Offer to let them speak to your Doctor or health
care provider and talk about the different options you have and
any precautions you may have to take.
If your partner decides that he or she is no longer interested
in seeing you then try not to blame yourself. Do your best to
educate your partner and remember that you did the right thing
by telling them. This is not about you or them, it's about being
a responsible adult and if your partner was carrying a virus or
infection wouldn't you want them to tell you?
Keep things in perspective and remember that STD's like syphilis,
chlamydia and gonorrhea are harmless if treated properly, but
if left they can weak havoc on your partners body and anyone else
that they may have sexual contact with in the future as they also
make it easier to transmit HIV from one partner to another.
Your
health care provider will be able to advise you as to which partners
if any you should tell about your diagnoses but below is a chart
that may help you sort out the facts from the fiction.
| Sexually
Transmitted Disease |
Common
Name |
Who Do
I Need to Tell? |
| Candidiasis |
Yeast
Infection |
Current
partner(s) only. |
| Chancroid |
None |
Current
or previous* partner(s) only. |
| Chlamydia
|
None |
Current
or previous partner(s) only. |
| Cystitis |
Bladder
infection |
You don't.
|
| Gardnerella |
Vaginitis
|
Current
or previous partner(s) only. |
| Gonorrhea |
The Clap |
Current
or previous partner(s) only. |
| Hepatitis
B or C |
Hepatitis
|
Current,
previous and future partner(s). |
| Herpes
Simplex I |
Cold
Sores |
You don't.
|
| Herpes
Simplex II |
Herpes |
Current,
previous and future partner(s) |
| HIV |
AIDS |
Current,
past and future partner(s). |
| Human
Papilloma Virus |
Genital
Warts |
Current,
previous and future partner(s). |
| Pubic
Lice |
Crabs |
Current
or previous partner(s) only. |
| Pelvic
Inflammatory Disease |
PID |
Current
or previous partner(s) only. |
| Scabies |
Scabs |
Current
or previous partner(s) only. |
| Syphilis
|
Syph |
Current
or previous partner(s) only. |
| Trichomoniasis |
Trich |
Current
or previous partner(s) only. |
*"previous"
means anyone who may have been infected or who may have infected
you.
Talk to your partner today!
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