Internet Safety

Written By: Katie Rose

The Scene: Any room that contains a computer.
Characters: One person sitting before the computer, another person, while not physically seen, is engaging in conversation from an undisclosed area, somewhere over the net.

This scenario is as acted out every day, millions of times a day. Just what is going on here? It could be an innocent conversation between old friends. I could be a discussion about a common interest. I could be a conversation taking place in a chat room dedicated to an area of interest to them both. It could be an intimate conversation, in full detail of what was/is/will happen to each other. Enter the world of Internet relationships and Internet safety.

Internet safety is alarmingly overlooked, misunderstood, and underrated. There is a general lack of awareness of the frequency of harmful occurrences, the range of severity, and areas involved primarily because it goes unreported. The dangers of the Internet lurk everywhere and most people either ignore it or take Internet safety lightly.

When we hear "Internet Safety" what do we think of? Usually we consider child safety, because there is publicized issue of predators, pornography, and pedophilia. Yet there are also adult stalking, rapes, even deaths, from meetings arranged on the Internet. Then there is the problem of stolen identities, financial losses and destruction of property (files, hard drives, etc.) from hackers and virus authors. Privacy protection is at the heart of the issues.

There have been many unfortunate events resulting from meetings arranged over the Internet. While there have been thousands of uneventful, and even very enjoyable meeting experiences, a stigma has developed over the issue of meeting others on the Internet based on the negative experiences of those who endured them.

Where did all this begin?
The most common venue on the Internet for the origination of crimes, are chat rooms. This is part of the draw, the attraction that people have to chat rooms. At any time of the day (or night) there are people from all over the world that you can go and meet and talk to. The problem is in what can happen when you get there.

Venturing into chat for your first time you become aware of a one thing very quickly; that you can be whoever you want to be. Pick your own age, sex, race, size, shape, or color, no one is going to know, right? This is the land of the alias nature.

This very feature of chat is the definitive source of the psyche of chat. You are who you choose to be. You present yourself any way you want to and that is what other chatters will know you as. This seems ok to the individual who has chosen to be someone they are not, which many do when they are new to chat. Now you can go into an environment and be accepted as the person you always wanted to be.

Remember wanting to be in that quarterback’s shoes in High School, or the Prom Queen’s, or perhaps the guy that had that awesome band that could play the guitar so well, or the gal that was the lead singer? Now you can be.

Then there is the Cyber-relationship. These relationships are also fairly common. A man meets a woman in chat, they flirt, get close, and before you know it, they are talking very seriously and acting like a real couple. There are even cyber-weddings taking place in chat. And all this goes on while one or both of the parties has a RW spouse! These cyber-relationships also can become the catalyst for RW divorce, the couple getting so serious on-line that they can’t set aside the fantasy for reality.

What do I have to protect myself against on the Internet?
Many crimes that are committed in the real world also occur on the Net. These include fraud and embezzlement, harassment, "stealing" an identity, or stalking. A lot of information is available about you on the Net, and an enterprising criminal can find out a lot about you and use this information to his/her advantage. A criminal could use basic information about you (discovered on the Net), and then engage in "social engineering"--contacting your friends, co-workers, relatives, etc.--to learn even more.

Understanding the Offense
Most ‘relationships’ between people on the net start out as friendly interaction. Many times it remains just that, and sometimes it moves in one of two directions: the relationship deepens, or the relationship cools on one side of the interaction.

When the relationship cools and one party is not willing to accept that, they will sometimes turn into what is considered a cyber stalker. A stalker is anyone who contacts you or seeks to gain intimate personal knowledge of you without your consent, or after being told to cease. What better way to prey stealthily than behind the alias of an Internet account? It seems as though the fact that on the Internet everyone chooses his or her own identity has brought out of the woodwork every kind of unstable minded individual. This is the offense; unwelcome communication, remember it.

The “contact” of a stalker can range from unwelcome advances and obscene offerings, to disparaging, demeaning, slanderous, vile, or threatening comments made in a chat room, on a bulletin board, through Email, instant message, or any other on-line communication medium.

The big problem is that you never know when, or whom, or how far they are going to go in pursuit of their deranged goal, whatever that might be. What starts out as a seemingly innocent exchange can progress from amorous advances to name calling to threats to…? You just don’t know where it is going to end.

You must, however, be prepared for the worst and take the appropriate steps as soon as you begin to suspect that you have become victim. The reason? Because of how bad it can get!

According to statistics from W.H.O.A. (Working to Halt On-line Abuse,) 19.5% of cyber stalking cases escalate to offline stalking. This brings a pretty scary reality into view. One out of every five cyber stalking cases becomes an off-line, real world stalking case.

There are dangers greater than those discussed already, greater in severity, though not necessarily in frequency. These dangers involve the really sick, the stalkers, and the predators.

Crimes against Internet users from these sick individuals can range from simple on-line stalking, wanting to create fear and panic, all the way to off-line stalking, abduction, rape, and even murder.

These denizens of cyberspace can come at you from anywhere. In Chat, you will find that they may be the kindest, most compassionate people you have ever met, and they will bend over backwards to be helpful and kind. Or they may start right off the bat as annoying and irritating, and just won’t leave you alone.

The predator’s most common victim will be those who are new the Internet, and/or new to chat. It is easy to spot the newcomer, as they don’t know the language of chat, or what the symbols that the chat world uses mean, and they will ask. For example, ((((“alias”)))) is a hug, greeting someone who has come into the room or to say goodbye as someone is leaving. The newbie will ask “what’s the ((((()))))s what do they mean?”

We suggest that anyone who is going to try chat should go and learn all they can first and go into a room and watch before talking, then just blend in as though you’ve been doing this for years. When asked personal information, don’t be specific. One of the common questions in chat terminology is “ASL”? This means A=Age, S=Sex, L=Location. When asked this question there is nothing wrong with saying “ 30ish, F, Somewhere in the Northeast”. Stay watchful and alert, and don’t give out personal information. The predator will seek information, deviously, cunningly, almost imperceptibly. They are clever, skilled, and they love to victimize.

According to the United States Department of Justice, in a study done in 1999 the figure is actually a little higher than 1 out of ten.

Stalking is more prevalent than previously thought: 8.1 percent of surveyed women and 2.2 percent of surveyed men reported being stalked. Source - USDOJ .

The cyber stalker can come from anywhere. From a chat room, a newsgroup, a bulletin board, or email. Virtually any medium of communication available on-line affords them the opportunity to pick a victim.

This is not to say that all cyber stalkers go looking for victims, some of them become cyber stalkers after being spurned by someone they were attracted to. This is why we must be watchful of our communications at all times.

We do not know what kind of people they are nor do we know what they are capable of. We do know that once we have become the object of a cyber stalker, we have a one in five chance that it will actually reach our home. We do know that once a cyber stalker has begun, they are here to conquer, and some will use any means necessary to feel that they have won a great victory.

Besides the other types of contact previously described, cyber stalkers are also known to send electronic viruses, send masses of spam mail, and even hack your computer for the purposes of identity theft.

For the most part their goal seems to be to intimidate, create fear, and get a reaction. This makes them feel as though they have some sort of power, and in a sense they do. The power to generate fears, the power to achieve the desired result in your reaction of fear and panic.

It is important to understand this because this is part of your first round of defenses against these individuals. The effects of a cyber stalker on the life of their victim are real. These effects include psychological trauma, which manifests itself in many forms. From paranoia, to agoraphobia, to the extremes of a complete nervous breakdown, those who have found themselves to be the target of a stalker can go through a full range of changed behavior.

How can I protect myself on the Net?
Be VERY careful to whom you give personal information and where you post information. Use a "nonsense" password that has no relation to you as a person; use a combination of numbers, symbols, and letters and make sure it is at least 6 characters long. Change your password frequently and NEVER give it out. Try not to keep it written down. Avoid using the same password for multiple accounts.

If you are a woman, you may want to avoid usernames that are obviously female anytime you are on the Net, depending on the net.community you are participating in. (Your first initial and last name combine to make a good, easy to remember, and gender-neutral user name.) This includes e-mail, IRC channels or chat rooms, bulletin boards, etc. Learn what kind of anti-abuse procedures are in place in the community. IRC channels usually have two or more "ops" (operators) around, which have the power and authority to ban abusive users from the channel. If there is no op on a channel, contact the IRCops of your IRC server; these names are given when you first sign onto the server. Visit http://www.irchelp.org/ to learn more.

Check web sites that provide information about people (like Four 11, WhoWhere , etc.) to see what information is available about you. Ask that any entries about you be deleted or edit them to give only a P.O. Box as an address and a phone number that isn't answered (maybe the line that gives the time and weather in town). You may want to visit one of the meta search engines (Dogpile , Fast Search, etc.) and search for your name as well.

Guidelines for Chat Safety
· Do not give out personal information such as your address, telephone number, and work address/telephone number.
· Never agree to get together with someone you "meet" online without first checking them out to the best of your ability.
· Do not send anyone your picture unless you are sure of whom you are sending it to.
· Do not respond to any messages that in any way make you uncomfortable. It is not your fault if you get a message like that. Keep track of screen names of those who send them, and turn them in to the service provider.
· Do not give out your passwords to anyone, even your kids.
· Find out before you proceed too far with anyone on a personal level, and providing specific information about yourself, who it really is that you are talking to.

“The Internet doesn't look like a rough neighborhood, how could it? You are in the comfort and safety of your own home right? Wrong! When you open up a connection to the Internet you are potentially inviting a rough neighborhood right into your house.”

There is not much attention paid to this subject though there should be. Adult meetings in chat lead to kidnappings, stalking, rape, and murder. Even more than these terrible consequences (by volume not severity) are the very real life changes that are taking place around the world.

What can I do if I am being harassed or stalked on the Net?
You should report the incident to the system administrator (aka "sysadmin") of both your Internet Service Provider (ISP) and the ISP of the stalker or harasser. Be aware that sometimes stalkers/harassers try to conceal their tracks by forging (aka "spoofing") their e-mail headers. If you receive abusive e-mail, you might want to visit SpamCop. This free (with voluntary subscription) service will analyze your unwanted e-mail to determine its point of origin, and can generate a report that will be e-mailed to the appropriate sysadmin. You can also visit CyberSnitch to report Internet abuse and have a report sent to the appropriate law enforcement agency.

Check with your own ISP to learn about their abuse policy; this is usually outlined in the customer service agreement. Generally complaints of abuse are sent to the postmaster or the abuse department, and the addresses will be something like "postmaster@yourisp.com" or "abuse@yourisp.com." Many ISPs use both addresses. Go to your ISP's web site for more detailed, official information. Be sure to forward a complete copy of the mail, including the headers, to the sysadmin. Most sysadmins will not hesitate to cancel the account of anyone using their ISP to send abusive mail, and will cooperate with other sysadmins to prevent future occurrences. If your sysadmin does not take your complaint seriously, that may be a good reason to change ISPs.
For legal questions about cyber stalking, visit http://cyber.findlaw.com/criminal/cyberstalk.html, a collection of articles on the subject.

In and of itself, cyber-stalking is not dangerous. But it is easy to underestimate the threat that a person known only through the Net can pose. It is rare, but "cyber-stalking" can enter the "real world" and then it poses a threat. Cyber-stalking can in some cases take place without your knowledge, and you may not know you have been stalked until the stalker enters the "real world." That's why it's important to know what information is available about you.

It is generally easy to know when you are being stalked. You have elicited someone's interest in an unwelcome way. You receive unwelcome e-mail, get unwelcome IMs, find things about yourself posted on someone's web site, perhaps receive unwanted phone calls, and more.

Should you find that you are being stalked online, or that an on-line situation has become a real world problem, the first thing you should do is contact your local police. In most cases they will respond and be of assistance.

I say most because this is still a relatively new phenomena and there are cases where the local police will not be readily familiar with methods or procedures for dealing with them, if you find this is the case and you feel like you are being pushed aside, press further. Talk to higher local authorities, or even go to your state Assembly or Congressperson.

Next is the emotional aspect of being stalked, as this problem can create real fear and panic, and leave real evidence of it (depression, dysfunctional, etc) in its wake.
Contact W.H.O.A (Working to Halt On-line Abuse) at for information and counseling on how to cope with these distressing situations. WHOA has helped thousands over the past few years with these situations and they are well versed in all of the nuances that this problem encompasses.

Should I be paranoid whenever I log onto the Internet?
Not necessarily, but you should be as careful as you would be when visiting a strange city. Your best defense is learning what can be done to you, and what you can do to prevent it.

The best way to be prepared is to understand beforehand how to react, and the appropriate steps to take once you realize that you have become a victim. The first is to remain calm and objective, not reacting to flames with flames, threats with threats, just not reacting. Remember, to react is to feed the fire. Once someone begins a campaign the best course is to simply and calmly speak to them one time, whether by email, chat, bulletin board, or whatever method is being used, and tell them that you no longer wish to have any communication with them whatsoever. If you feel that you should in your particular circumstance, include the fact that you are prepared to follow established reporting procedures if they fail to comply with your request to cease contact. Save a copy of your request and make that your last communication with them.

You have just set the stage for a complaint if they should continue. You have notified them that any further communication is unwelcome and if it persists it now falls under the definition of cyber stalking in a very concrete way.

Now you have a couple of decisions to make. Do you keep your current account open so that you will have reportable evidence should the person continue or do you block them from access? This is up to you and is a decision that you should make based on your own level of comfort. Just remember if you choose to keep access open, do not respond to anything, at all, period.

Realize this, however; if you can bear to just ignore the communications while you gather evidence, you stand a greater chance of the offender just getting tired of being ignored and going away. On the other hand, if you report them and they have their account terminated, they can get another account somewhere else and may be thrilled that they got a reaction, or angry at the termination, and press further.

If the stalking continues, you may have to go to the extremes of either changing your accounts, or changing your ISP altogether. You may have to find new places to visit if that is feasible. If they found you before in an on-line venue that you frequent, it would be easy enough to find you again even under a new account, unless you can also change your style of communication so drastically that they would not recognize you.

Be Prepared to Go All the Way
Your next step is to go to your local police, and enlist the assistance of one of the on-line organizations that work with cyber stalking cases. Some of these organizations are,
· WHOA
· Cyberangels
· National Center for Victims of Crimes

It's one thing to set up defenses to protect yourself from privacy invasion, and your family from other exploits and predators, it is another thing to know what to do if you find that you have been compromised, or if you or a family member has become a victim.

In every situation, one of the key things to remember is saving everything. Save e-mail, IM (Instant Message) communications, IP (Internet Protocol) addresses, pictures sent, everything relating to the offending party. All of this information is necessary for determining both the extent of the offense, and the originating party of the offense.

If your situation involves hacking you will need to save the log file of the intrusion from your firewall software, as well as any other evidence left behind by the intruder.

Eeck! Now that I’ve scared the crap out of you, are you ready to run away from the Internet? I doubt it, and I wouldn’t blame you. After all, I too engage in regular conversations on the net, conduct business with complete strangers, and make new friends. But I do it responsibly because I am well aware of dangers that can arise.

Be safe, not sorry.

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