The truth is life and sex just aren't like the romantic novels in many cases. You know the scenario, handsome guy meets sweet Jessica, they fall in love he takes her in his arms and her thighs are not only quivering within 20 secs of his lips meeting hers, she's gushing enough natural lubricant to fill three water reservoirs in no time.

For most of us that live in the real world however this is often not the case and there are many factors that come into play as regards why that might happen.

Individual differences. Some women naturally produce less vaginal lubrication than others. Just as height varies, so does lubrication. There is nothing wrong with women at any point along the self-lubrication spectrum; it's just who they are. Unfortunately, women who do not produce much lubrication often feel abnormal, even though they aren't.

Age. The female sex hormone estrogen plays an important role in vaginal lubrication. Estrogen production begins to decline before menopause, and many women notice decreased lubrication as early as their thirties. After menopause, hormone replacement therapy may help, but even with supplemental estrogen, some postmenopausal women experience persistent vaginal dryness. Women with diabetes must contend with both the normal age-related decrease in lubrication, plus the additional lubrication loss often caused by diabetic angiopathy.

The menstrual cycle. Because estrogen influences vaginal lubrication, women often produce different amounts of lubrication at different times of the month. Its viscosity may also vary.

Stress. Everything from job hassles to relationship tensions can impair sexual response in both men and women. In men, the result can be erection impairment. In women, stress can limit lubrication.

Drugs. Many over-the-counter and prescription medications decrease vaginal lubrication. Among the most lubrication-impairing medications are the tricyclic antidepressants (Elavil, Anafranil, Tofranil, and Sinequan, among others). Some women report that birth control pills reduce lubrication. Antihistamines, cold formulas, and other medicines that dry the mouth also impair lubrication. Alcohol is another lubrication inhibitor. Cigarettes and marijuana can have a similar effect.

Travel. Everyone knows that flying across time zones induces jet lag. However, few understand that jet lag may temporarily decrease lubrication.

Extended loveplay. Even women who produce a good deal of natural lubrication sometimes begin to feel dry during extended sex.

Pregnancy and childbirth. Because of hormonal fluctuations, some women have difficulty lubricating during pregnancy or for a while after delivery.

Even if none of the above apply to you adding a dash of lube to your solo or partner play can greatly enhance your experience. If you doubt me at all try this little experiment:

Close your mouth and dry your lips.
Run a finger lightly over them, paying close attention to how it feels.
Now, lick your lips.
With your lips moist, run the same finger over them in the same way, again focusing on how it feels.

Which caress felt more sensual? If you said, "The one with lips moist," sexual lubricants can help you enjoy more pleasure in lovemaking, especially if the woman does not produce much on her own.

In our finger-on-the-lips experiment, the lubricant was saliva. Good old saliva is the world's most popular sexual lubricant. It's effective, available anywhere, and free. Try to imagine oral sex without it. But saliva is also more watery than slippery. It dries quickly. And for pleasure enhancement, it's just not as effective as commercial lubricants. For a remarkably modest cost, commercial lubricants can add new sensual zing to both your solo and partner play.

For example, if like me you use a lot of sex toys, many of the materials are not as smooth or slippery as real human skin and they also have a tendency to dry you out over time. Using a lube eliminates both the problem and the pain that dryness can cause.

Don't just take my word for it though, try some lube yourself and see how it works for you. Many companies now sell small samplers like this one that offer an ideal way to find which lube you like the best.

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