Someone once wrote that buying a vibrator/dildo is like buying a pair of shoes. Ummm, excuse me, but I think there is a world of difference between the two. For a start, when I walk into a shoe shop I get to try before I buy, I know what size shoe I take or at least I can get it measured, and lastly there is always a helpful assistant on hand. None of things in general apply to sex shops, on or off-line in my experience.

I know where they were going with that analogy though, buying, choosing a dildo/vibrator is/should be a personal thing. The color, texture, type that you choose are all personal choices.

Click on any on-line adult store and chances are you'll be amazed and sometimes bewildered by the variety that is offered. So where do you start? Personally I find at the beginning the best place! My advise for what it's worth, is to go back to basics and ask yourself a few simple questions before you buy.

Is this vibrator/dildo just for you, or will you be using it with your partner?

A word of caution here for any men that maybe reading. I wouldn't advise buying one for your partner and just leaving it in a box on the bed, gift wrapped or not. Vibrators and the choice of is very much a personal thing. Okay, she may have said in the throws of passion one night that she wanted a 15" one that glowed in the dark, but that doesn't mean she does in the cold light of day. Talk it over if you are buying with your partner in mind.

What type of stimulation are you looking for? Clitoral, vaginal, anal or a mixture? Try to determine what type of stimulation you find most enjoyable.

So what's the difference between a dildo and a vibrator? I hear you asking.

Vibrators

Vibrators come in a great variety of shapes. All as the name suggests vibrate but they can be small or large, have a separate handle or not, be long or wide, etc, etc. Some can be inserted, but generally, they are used for clitoral stimulation. Most are powered by battery but some run via the mains electric. The battery operated ones are more portable and therefore on the whole more popular.

Dildos

Dildos, on the other hand, generally refer to cylindrical shaped often used for insertion. Some are made to look and even feel like a real penis. Some are made to look like animals and other fanciful creatures. The main thing is that they are long, narrow and insertable.

The above definitions are just general pointers as the two often overlap. In other words, some dildos vibrate, some vibrators look like real penises.

It's probably better to start "small" both in size and intensity whether you decide to buy a dildo or a vibrator. Let's face it, you can always upgrade later. If you're a couple here's a good game to play as you browse the store. Try making up your own names for the various dildos/vibros you find. I guarantee you will be falling on the floor by the time you reach the tenth name. This is about having fun as well as remember!

So you finally make your choice, pay and then you wait. A couple of days later, your stood there with this object in your hand wondering what possessed you to ever buy one in the first place. If your solo then play around, bear in mind that some women find direct clitoral stimulation to intense, if this is the case then try using it in different positions, or using it through a towel. Once you find the position that works for you then you'll understand why vibrators outsell any other sex toy on the market.

Some people worry that if they pleasure themselves this way they will end up unable to have an orgasm with a man. There is no evidence to suggest this is true, in fact research indicates that the opposite is true. This probably explains why sex therapists, the world over, endorse the use of sex toys. It's an ideal way to learn the sensations that your body responses to. Many women that have difficulty reaching orgasm have found the use of vibrators beneficial and that's official!

If you're a couple, it's time to play, experiment and above all have fun. Guys, running around the room, brandishing your new light sabre, whilst declaring you are the new Luke Skywalker, is not the way to impress the woman of your dreams. Okay, I know I said have fun but...

Go gently, let your partners body and reactions be your guide. If she's used a vibrator or dildo before and she's comfortable with the idea, watch and learn as she shows you her techniques. There's no reason why you can't use it on yourself or allow her too either for that matter.

Depending on what you choose to buy depends on how you use it. Play around, experiment and you'll be surprised how much you'll learn. It's a great form of foreplay, teasing and playing with her. For example, trying running a vibrator over her nipples, before moving it over her stomach, eventually ending up between her inner thighs. Something else you might like to try is to use your tongue on her clitoris as you GENTLY insert the vibrator/dildo inside her. This is guaranteed to get her juices flowing.

When you decide that the foreplay is over don't discard the vibrator, if you both enjoy doggie style as a position, a great way to doubly stimulate her is to gently rub the vibrator across her clitoris as you enter her. Use your imagination, as long as your both comfortable with an idea and it's safe, then try it. Which brings me onto a couple of important points:

Using a vibrator anally can be pleasing, but please NEVER ever let go of it. The sphincter muscles produce powerful contractions and you really don't want to end up in the ER room explaining exactly how it got up there, do you?

If you use a vibrator anally apply the same rules you would if a man had used his penis. Never go from the anus back to the vagina, as you could carry normal bacteria from the rectum to the vagina, which is not normal there.

Always make sure that you buy from a reputable company such as Libida.com Chances are you are going to at some point insert this toy into yourself and it's not worth taking a chance for a few cents less.

Have fun...