Written By: C. Michael Smith

Do women even need men for sex, anymore?
After all, vibrators are perfect, right? The lady gets to choose the size she wants, so it’s definitely long enough and thick enough to please her. It has either battery power or electric power, so it’s always ready for action and can perform all night long until she is satisfied. And the lady is in control of it, so it will definitely find all of her hot spots and operate at the optimum depth, speed, and rhythm. It will definitely satisfy her where we can only wonder if we are satisfying her, right?

How can we compete with that?
Well, guys, the answer is that we shouldn’t compete with vibrators, at all. Sometimes we are just a little too competitive for our own good. It’s not a competition, you know. We should learn to embrace sex toys. Yet, perhaps because of our upbringing, societal and/or social conditioning, a lot of myths about sex toys, or insecurities we have as men about our own size, our stamina, and our ability to satisfy our women, a lot of us are anywhere from shy to dead-set against bringing toys into our bedrooms. Unfortunately, by harboring such an attitude, we are missing out on a lot of sexual pleasure and could be just short of reaching our full sexual potential - and that’s to say nothing of what we may be denying our ladies in the process.

Let me take this opportunity to generally ease your concerns a bit, help you put sex toys in the proper perspective, calm any fears and insecurities you may have about being replaced by sex toys, debunk some common sex toy myths, and help you discover the joy that sex toys can bring into your (and your lady’s) life.

First, let’s put sex toys in the proper perspective. The truth is that sex toys can enhance your sex life, facilitate arousal, and bring about new avenues of adventure, intimacy, and sexual fulfillment. And as the word “toy” suggests, they can be a lot of fun, too. Sex toys are not a replacement for you. Nothing can replace your warm body, your knowing smile, your heart full of passion, and your eyes full of desire. Nothing compares to the soft and sensual (or aggressive) touch of a man. Besides, a vibrator can’t cuddle with her afterwards. It can’t give hugs and kisses. It can’t take out the trash or mow the lawn, either, come to think of it. Until they figure out how to get a vibrator to do that stuff, I think you’re pretty safe. Instead of viewing sex toys as competition, look at them as sexual props. What is the function of a prop, after all? A prop aids in telling a story, it makes the story better, it helps paint a colorful and vibrant picture, and it adds to the scene. It’s not the star of the show, but it can make the star look better.

“For any guy that thinks that sex toys are a penis replacement think again and take a look at some of those out there on the market today. Long gone are the days when toys were simply shaped like willies or made as replacements, women are doing it for themselves more than ever now and you either get with the program or miss out.” Jenne

Another reason that many of us seem to shy away from sex toys is due to myths that we may believe about them. Sex toys are shrouded by a cloud of lies, misunderstandings, and misconceptions. Perhaps you have heard one or more of the following.

· Sex toys make sex artificial, impersonal, or mechanical.
Really? If sex toys are too artificial to include in lovemaking, then what about other items that people regularly use like candles, lingerie, silk sheets, massage oil, washcloths, lubrication, or condoms?

· Sex toys are for loners, freaky people, sluts, perverts, weirdoes, nymphomaniacs, or loose people.
There is no true stereotype for people who use sex toys. The fact of the matter is that people who use sex toys come from all walks of life. Politicians, doctors, lawyers, dentists, accountants, bankers, secretaries, truck drivers, taxi drivers, store clerks, college students, and unemployed people all use sex toys. Married people, single people, divorced people, widows and widowers, young people, elderly people, men, and women all use sex toys. And just about any other category you could group people into. Sex toys are widely used by more people than you may realize.

· Sex toys are only for masturbation.
While sex toys can certainly be used for masturbation, many couples also enjoy toy play together as a part of a close, healthy, vibrant, and fun relationship.

· If a lady needs to use a sex toy, it means her man isn’t pleasing her in bed.
The fact is that there are millions of ladies (and men, too - I have news for you!) using sex toys, and they aren’t using them because they hate men, are single, ugly, lonely, sexual deviants, desperate, unsatisfied with a man, or can’t get a man. They use them because they feel good!

· If you already have a great sex life with your partner, you don’t need sex toys.
Consider this! Playing with sex toys can really make a good relationship even better. Using toys with your partner can actually make your relationship stronger. Sharing this experience together will bring about more intimacy and closeness. That’s to say nothing of the variety and fun it can bring to your relationship. Usually the kinds of couples that are comfortable trying new things together are open-minded, have high levels of trust and comfort with each other, and generally like to have fun together. Toys are a great way to strengthen these relationship traits.

· Using sex toys can be physically dangerous.
Sex toys are not dangerous. In fact, they can have very beneficial effects on your sexual well-being. They can help non-orgasmic women become orgasmic, they can increase your awareness of your body and its sexual response, and they can help maintain great vaginal tone, just to name a few. There are many other ways that sex toys can be beneficial to your health, as well.

· Purchasing sex toys can be embarrassing.
Ok, I’ll give you this one. In the beginning, it CAN be embarrassing to walk into a sex shop and pick out some toys. But, until you are comfortable doing so, they are other options available to you. There are many companies online where you can buy your sex toys in complete anonymity and have them shipped discreetly in plain packaging right to your doorstep.

Still not convinced?
Here are some examples of how sex toys can improve your sex life and make you look like a better lover, not a worse one.

· Sex toys break the monotony and make sex more adventurous and exciting.

· Sex toys can provide different types of stimulation than you are currently used to. Different types of stimulation can lead to different types of orgasms and new levels of pleasure.

· Sex toys can provide the consistently strong stimulation that many women need in order to orgasm. If your lady is non-orgasmic, experimenting with sex toys could lead her to become orgasmic.

· Sex toys can give extra pleasure, allowing you to free up your hands for pleasuring even more areas, simultaneously.

· Sex toys encourage exploration. You may find new hotspots on your body (or hers) that you didn’t know about.

· It takes pressure off of your penis. Your penis doesn’t always have to be the star or the center of attention.

· Another great advantage is that during intercourse, your brain is nearly ties to your penis. While using a toy, your brain is better able to focus on your lady. You can learn a lot by paying attention to her sexual response to your stimulation. This information will help you be a better lover the next time you enter her with your penis, so pay attention.

· What if you ejaculate prematurely, but she wants to continue? No problem if you have sex toys at your disposal.

· What if you lose your erection, but she wants to continue? Again, no problem. Just grab your bag of toys. You can still send her into orbit.

· What if you are tired from a long day, but still in the mood? Sex toys can give a burst of stimulation that will increase the energy and intensity level of a sex session when your own energy level isn’t at its peak.

· What if you aren’t in the mood but she is? No problem. You don’t have to become aroused to perform. Just grab the toys and give her what she wants. If you’re like me, you may find that once you start pleasuring her with the toys, you may become unexpectedly aroused, yourself.

· And finally, sex toys feel good for men, too. We don’t have to be left out. They make toys for us. Here are just a few: cock rings to help control and maintain an erection, sleeves with ticklers that slip over the penis to provide new sensations during intercourse, extenders to add to the length or girth of the penis, and dual vibrators that provide pleasure for both of you during intercourse. There are many other ways we can get in on the action, too. Try having you lady use a vibrator on your testicles, perineum, or anus while she give you oral sex. You’re limited only by your imagination.

Conclusion:
Excitement and variety are two of the keys to a great sex life and using toys in the bedroom is a great way to provide your sex life with both of these keys.

Using sex toys makes you a better lover, not a worse one. Don’t worry about being replaced by toys. Your lady doesn’t think that using sex toys is a better way of having sex than with your penis, just a different way, and that’s the important thing. Are you sitting down? I’m sorry, but your penis is not the be-all and end-all of great sex. I know this is tough medicine for some of us guys to swallow, but the sooner you do, the better. Do me (and yourself) a favor, guys, and find something else to worry about besides the importance of your penis. You’d do better to focus on things such as your character, your sensitivity, your chivalry, your openness, your willingness, your ability to love, and your ability to feel. Lovemaking involves so much more than just the genital stimulation that sex toys provide. Even with the use of sex toys, you will still be needed, desired, enjoyed, and appreciated in any healthy sexual relationship. A sex toy can’t detract from the connection you have with your partner. It can only enhance what you already have due to your openness and your willingness to experiment.

I hope I have successfully eased your concerns a bit, helped you put sex toys in the proper perspective, debunked some of the myths that you may have held about sex toys, and shown you some ways that sex toys can really spice up your sex life.

Above all, I hope I have at least made you think about the prospect of introducing toys into your sex life. Maybe you are even ready to take the leap and give toys a try in your bedroom. Before too long, you may even be ready to adopt my mantra:

“He who dies with the most toys, wins!”

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