Written by: Jenne

Psstttt, listen closely, I'm gonna tell you a secret. Mutual masturbation is fun and you might actually learn a thing or two in the bargain as well as. Although many people think of masturbation as a solo activity, adding your partner into the mix can lead to some great fun and games and give the whole masturbation experience a new dimension.

The key words here are communication and openness. Many people still feel that masturbation is something that should only be done in private and this is especially true when it comes to us girls. It's just the way many of us were brought up, and over coming that can take a lot of will power.

So, encourage us guys. Tell us how good it makes you feel to watch us as we share our most intimate act. Set the mood and take your time, this is not a race and is something that should be taken slowly and gently. Take baby steps at first if you are both unsure until your confidence grows.

What stops many couples indulging in mutual masturbation is generally fear. Fear of how their partner will react. Fear of feeling stupid and self-conscious are all reasons that are often sited as reasons why people prefer not to participate. In some ways you are putting on a show for your partner, just as you would if you were to do a strip tease. Trust me, I know how you feel. The first time I ever did this for a partner I felt awkward, stupid, and self-conscious for about two seconds. It was once I looked at his face and realized just how much he was enjoying watching me enjoy myself that I no longer felt self-conscious and began to let go and indulge.

There are several ways you can add masturbation into your normal [I hate that word arggh] love life and below are a few ideas to help you do just that:

Show and Tell.
This is an ideal technique for couples that are not ready to make love yet for whatever reason and is probably one of the safest forms of foreplay known to mammals as it involves only touching yourself and not your partner. This does require a level of confidence and trust between both parties though, as you need to let your guard down, to some extent, to really appreciate the entire experience.

Some people prefer to sit across the room from each other while others prefer to lie on the bed and diddle at the same time. It really is a case of what you are both comfortable with. Being able to sit back and watch your partner pleasure themselves can be extremely erotic as this couple discovered a while back:

"My b/f likes to get me really turned on, he works me up into a frenzy, and then he'll take my hand and place it between my legs, letting me know he wants to watch. The first time he did it, I felt a little odd about it, but the way it turned him on was reward enough to make me lose all sense of inhibition. He got off big time while watching me masturbate and the orgasm I had was definitely powerful! "

Toying Around
This can be a fun way to introduce toys into your sex play. Again you have choices here and you can either simply use the toy on yourself as your lover watches or you could ask them to place their hand over yours and help guide it to the spots where it gives the most pleasure. If you choose to share toys then it's a good idea to place a condom over them and change it before you go from yourself to your partner.

“I have a couple of toys that I like to use with my partner. Sometimes we both pick out one that we like, lie side by side, and just enjoy the sights and sounds of each other getting more and more turned on.”

Teach me
Mutual masturbation is an ideal way to teach your partner how best to please you. You can even add to this scenario by dressing for the part and role-playing if you feel so inclined. Your partner is your teacher and your mission is to educate them to best pleasure you using only your hands. You begin by showing them what type of stroke works for you or perhaps a simple biology lesson where you point to the more pleasurable parts of your body and take it from there...

“I felt a bit weird about doing it at first, but then I realized how much he was learning by watching me touch myself that I figured it was only going to benefit me in the end, so I went with it.”

Double the Pleasure
Here you can both please each other, teasing each other and practice the techniques you've learned through the above techniques. Find a position where you can both comfortably reach each other’s genitals and begin masturbating each other. You can also do this separately where one party will masturbate the other and then visa versa. Both of these techniques are fun to try and again a great way to learn how your partner ticks.

Bath time Fun
No one says you have to keep mutual masturbation confined to the bedroom. It can be fun to take into the bathtub, shower or hot tub if you own one. It can be an extremely relaxing experience and one that I often indulge in with Hubby.

“Sometimes my boyfriend likes to watch me in the shower. I have a hand-held shower head, so I’ll stand in the shower with the curtain open and maneuver the water to pleasure myself while he sits on the stool and masturbates while watching me.”

Drive Me Wild
A great way to masturbate mutually is during a long car ride. If one of you is driving the other one can masturbate and then you change over or stop and dive into the back seat, whichever seems the best option at the time -)) Please don't masturbate and drive it's really not safe and even a good orgasm is not worth dying for.

“There’s something about masturbating in a car that makes it exciting. I don’t know if it’s just the fact that it’s someplace different, or if it’s the possibility of being seen by someone else, of if it’s the fact that my partner is almost helpless because he’s driving and can’t do much about what I’m doing that turns me on.”

The above are just some ideas that I've tried and tested over the years and I know from Clitical's mail many others have enjoyed as well. The key to mutual masturbation really to relax, communicate and above all have fun!