"I know my mum found my stash of play things in my bedroom because they had been moved from the way I left them and she has subsequently been acting very coldly to me. I don't feel in the wrong but I don't like her treating me like this. What should I do?"

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Our parent's generation was even less open than ours on the subject of masturbation. Being confronted with the fact that you are active in this area may be causing her some real problems. If she sees masturbation as 'wrong' then she is working through the conflict of you, who she loves, doing something that she sees as wrong. Even if she is comfortable with the idea of masturbation then coming to terms with the fact you have grown up and have sexual desires of your own could be difficult for her. It is going to take her time and there is only so much you can do to help. Trying too hard could force her into saying or doing something you may both regret. Be patient. If she raises the subject then be frank and tell her that you know its natural and normal and that you intend to continue and that you hope she can understand. If she continues to treat you coldly then try to be warm to her and she may well respond as she sees you are still the daughter she loves, no matter what. The only scenario I have a concern about is if she tries to precipitate a confrontation by removing your toys or trying to insist you do as she wants in her house. (I don't know her so I can't say it won't happen, but it is very unlikely unless you have a problem relationship to start with). If she takes this stance you can stand your ground or you can agree to do as she asks - then it would be up to you whether you stick to your word or not.

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