Written
By: Angie
I
had recently broken up with my fiancé of three years because we
simply drifted apart. There was not much to communicate and it
seemed that we no longer had something new to talk about our selves
and our likes in the bedroom.
As
a sad result, the excitement in the bedroom had become none. We
were no longer attracted to each other.
At
first, I noticed on how easily aroused I became by many simple
things by merely rephrasing statements made by my friends in normal
conversation. Then by seeing other guys in the prime of their
lives walking around the college campus.
I
don’t know how I managed, but I kept to myself while out in public.
However, when I got home, I found that I became interested in
porn sites.
What
had gotten over me? A year ago, I would have not been interested
at all since I knew that I had a partner for that special satisfaction.
The
nights passed, and I ended up laying awake in my bed with my thoughts
on other matters. Eventually they became bits and pieces of a
more elaborate and very personal fantasy.
One
night I reached my breaking point and had an orgasm just by thinking
about it.
A
few nights after this happened repeatedly, I felt that I needed
more and did not pay attention to what my hands were doing until
I arched up unexpectedly as I reached another orgasm.
It
turned out that my hand had only gently rubbed against my soft
cotton bikini underwear but never actually touched skin.
Luckily
I was fairly comfortable with myself and did not feel ashamed,
but rather fascinated on how far a little stimulation could go.
As
more nights passed, I wanted more and actually used my fingers
to give myself pleasure.
After
a single orgasm I would ease back, tired and content and had a
relaxing nights sleep.
When
it was that time of the month, I didn’t dare touch myself because
I didn’t want to deal with the mess. So I resorted to go back
to have the fantasies run through my mind, but I still wanted
to be truly satisfied.
When
that agonizing week was over and after a long warm bath, my mind
was still on the same thing. I was beginning to wonder if this
is what guys felt at their sexual peak. It was just driving me
crazy!
The
feelings and the basic urge stayed with me as I dressed for bed
and I once again laid there thinking.
First,
I tried to take it slow. There must be a reason to why I was feeling
like this.
With
the fantasies racing though my mind and no orgasm, I tried my
fingers but that only succeeded in teasing me and making me want
something deep inside me.
But
I was out of luck, I had no toys so I spent some time thinking
about what I should use. I thought about using a handle to a brush,
but I didn’t want to be reminded of what I had done the next day
when I had to brush my hair to go to class, so I was left with
nothing but disappointment.
I
did not have a good night’s sleep that night and when I came back
home, I found that I could not work on my homework assignments.
Especially since it was from one class that I had that was the
study of human sexuality.
As
I read through my textbook, it said that when a female masturbates,
it will have the added bonus of ‘cleaning’ out her vagina with
her orgasms, provided that the area is carefully cleaned immediately
after.
That
did not help much as those same thoughts became over whelming.
Finally I put my books away and looked around my room to try to
find an object that I could use that would help me out, but for
the same reason as the hairbrush handle, I could not find one
that was suitable.
Then
an idea dawned on me.
Instead
of looking up porn for women on the internet, I looked up sex
toys and read up on it. I decided that I would like to try a vibe
rather than a dildo because if I found that I didn’t like the
vibrations, I could always turn it off and simply use it as a
dildo. Also, as I did more homework on the subject, I figured
that a waterproof toy would be the best choice since it would
make cleaning it much easier. I was not to excited over the slim
and sleek models so I wanted mine to be realistic in shape and
texture, but color could be whatever that was available.
Then
it came down to figuring out what size I wanted. I was so hot,
that I was thinking about having a massive toy like one of those
called the Emperor that was about 10 inches long and almost 3
inches thick! But I had to be more reasonable since just about
every FAQ on the subject clearly stated that beginners should
start out with a toy that was a modest size.
That
was the last thing that I wanted! I didn’t want to be stuck with
a toy that was only 4 inches!
As
these facts, thoughts, and needs swirled around my head, I finally
gave in and got the money together to buy one.
I
had a budget of 50 dollars and I looked carefully at the selections
on various websites.
I
found one that I thought that would be suitable. Something that
was about 7 inches and life like in shape, but it was blue in
color. I filled out the form but opted to change my mind before
I clicked on the submit button. (It was not about the security
of using a credit card number on the net since I have had a job
in web design, and had more faith in security. I was the one paid
to deliberately hack into systems to test the security so I had
an understanding on how it worked.)
Was
I sure that this was what I wanted? I didn’t know.
So
I leaned back into my chair frustrated. What was I going to do?
I
had lost track of the time, but nether-the-less I glanced at it
and saw that it was only 7 PM.
I
had another idea, and picked up a phone book and found a number
to an adult store that had advertisements on TV (They said that
they were an adult factory outlet … I have no idea on how they
managed to get air time during prime time, but hey, gotta love
cable TV.)
Trying
to keep my voice calm as I could, I called them up to simply ask
them about their hours. I was in luck, they were open until 2
AM. I then asked for directions and learned that I would have
to drive to the other side of town.
I
turned off my computer and grabbed my purse and keys and walked
out the door, telling my roommates that I was going to one of
my hangout spots for a while (the Barnes and Noble bookstore)
to find a new book on programming and that I would be there for
a while.
I
was just about shaking with nerves driving across town. I have
never thought about doing something like this before. What was
I getting into?
I
figured that I still had one last chance to turn back and it was
to stop to get some gas and have something else to think about
for a few minutes, but that did not deter me. I was back on the
road en route to this place that says that they had the biggest
selection in Central Florida.
When
I made it to the parking lot, my hands were shaking a lot. I finally
told myself that the worst thing that could happen was that I
would just walk around, look like some under-aged idiot, buy nothing
and go home.
Right.
There was no harm in just looking.
By
the front door, I was immediately greeted by a fat man who was
disgusting looking and gave me one of the sleaziest smiles that
I have ever seen. I just nodded back and was quickly distracted
by a young man who asked for my ID.
So
I showed him. He studied it carefully. My ID said that I was 22,
but I looked younger. A lot younger with all of the neon lights
in the streets.
Finally
he nodded and told me to have a nice evening, and I walked inside.
The
front of the store looked rather innocent with nothing but greeting
cards, batteries, store catalogs and two registers, but I could
see the massive room in the back.
I
took my time browsing through the cards. Some of them were rather
funny and worth coming back to get gag gifts later. I had almost
forgotten why I had driven across town to get to this store until
I saw two ladies come up to a register to pay for their purchases.
I
had never felt like such a kid at that moment as one of them who
was about in their mid 30’s noticed that I was watching them.
I
casually broke eye contact and made my way to large two-story
room in the back.
I
must have drawn a lot of attention as an older man looked up from
the video selection shelf and look at me. Then returned to what
he was doing.
I
guess that I must have stuck out, considering that I was a ‘young
girl’ all by herself in a place like this.
The
bottom floor had items mainly for men and I made my way up to
the second floor.
There
were other women there, looking at the selection, and strangely,
that made me feel a bit more at ease. They must have been look
for the same thing that I was looking for too.
I
saw one that struck an image in my memory, the one item that was
called ‘The Emperor’. I looked at it and it didn’t take long for
me to realize that it was bigger than what I was used to. (All
of my previous partners in the past … uh, three to honest, were
about 5 inches or less, but I loved the foreplay that made up
for it)
I
looked at the selection, there was so many to choose from, and
they were about 40 bucks! I had to choose carefully, I wanted
to make sure that I was satisfied with my purchase.
As
I stood there, I recalled the criteria that I had in mind for
what I wanted: life-like in shape and texture, and a water-proof
vibe, to make things simple. So I started to carefully look at
that selection and noticed that there were two women who were
interested a particular model and had managed to open it just
enough to slip their fingers into the package to feel the material.
When
they moved on to another section, I looked at what they were looking
at a few moments before and like them, slid my fingers inside
the package expecting to feel a hard rigid material but was surprised
on how soft it was but yet firm. It was made of silicone and transparent
that covered a metal inner casing for the vibe itself. It was
also water-proof. The size was something more realistic for me.
It was about 7 inches by my guess and had just about right thickness.
I
made a mental note of it and continued to browse. There were some
anal toys that perked my interest but I had to make those wait
for another time.
I
must have spent 45 minutes browsing, while taking breaks to look
at the bondage and lingerie items that didn’t seem to interest
me.
When
I decided that I had seen enough, I went back to what I had found
so far and looked further back on the shelf to find an unopened
package. I also had the luxury to choose a purple one. (Purple
is my favorite color) I also grabbed a small package of water-based
lubricant to try out.
Timidly,
I walked up to the register and as casually as I could, place
the items down to check out. I could remember the piercing eyes
on one black woman who had just waked in and the items had caught
her eye. Man, did that make me feel uncomfortable.
I
tuned it out and she walked away but I got a good look at the
guy at the register. Damn, he was so attractive! It was a pleasant
reminder about why I wanted to go through with this.
Before
he rang up my item, he took the vibe out of the package and inserted
some batteries in it to test it out because they have a strict
‘no returns’ policy.
The
vibe obediently came to life and he asked me if it was okay, I
nodded. He turned it off, removed the batteries and asked if I
wanted to buy some. I again nodded and used my card to complete
the transaction.
When
he mentioned about the returns policy, I said that it was a gag
gift and probably would not be used anyway.
He
gave me an unsurprised look. He must have heard that excuse too
many times already. Especially by the way he exaggerated the word
‘gag’ when he responded to my comment.
It
was a quick card transaction and I was back out side with my purchases.
The
sleazy fat man was engrossed in a conversation with the other
man who checked my ID earlier so I walked pass them unnoticed
and retreated to my car.
As
quickly (and safely) as I could, I got out of there and did not
think about what I had done as if it was a very bad thing.
Before
I walked into the house, I stuffed my purchases into my backpack
and walked into the living room where I was asked by one of my
roommates how did it go.
I
made up a quick lie off the top of my head saying that the only
books there (at the book store that I told them that I was going
to) that were really useful were over 60 bucks so I didn’t get
one.
Two
long hours passed before I retired to my room and had a nice long
bath.
Carefully,
I pulled out the vibe out of the package and held it in my hand.
Just by holding it, and feeling the soft texture and the life-like
shape aroused me. Yet, this time, it was going to be different.
Putting
the pieces together, I turned it on and it hummed quietly in my
hands.
I
pretty much looked at it at every possible angle, and it was like
I was back in my fantasy.
I
finished putting the rest of the packaging away and turned off
the lights under the pretense that I was going to bed.
Well,
kinda.
First,
I tried to adjust the speed and it once again obediently obeyed
my command. I set it on high and placed it on my chest.
That
alone was arousing so I rubbed it over other parts of my body,
carefully avoiding where it was supposed to go. I liked being
teased and this was doing a good job of it!
It
finally came to rest on my crouch over my underwear and it made
me gasp in surprise.
I
had never felt anything like it, and I wanted more!
It
made its way under my panties and it rest itself against my opening.
It
teased me like never before and I slipped my underwear onto the
floor and added a little lubrication on the toy.
It
slid around on the surface, but slowly burring itself inside of
me. I had to moan into a pillow just to keep quiet.
Slowly
it kept going deeper and deeper inside until it could go no farther.
It
all happened so suddenly, as I found myself arched into the air
and my body spasmed in incredible waves of pleasure. It was the
best that I’ve had in a long time!
As
the feeling subsided, I turned the vibe off, but left it there
for a few minutes.
Now
that it was over, I got up to clean myself and my toy off before
putting it away in its new home in my drawer and I drifted off
in one of the best night’s sleep that I’ve had in a while.
It
has not even been a month since I got my new item and I have the
credit card receipt to prove it too (I got it on the 4th and today
is the 27th of the same month). I have already lost count on how
many times I have used it already, but I still can’t believe on
how all of what I had to go through to prove that maybe, I was
right all along in needing something like this and really didn’t
need to feel embarrassed or intimidated to own one. I’m actually
thinking about getting another to add some variety.
