Written
By: Jenne
I
know what your thinking, strange title for an article on masturbation!
Not as strange as you might think. Most of us sit down each
morning and munch on our favorite breakfast cereal without a
thought of how those little flakes of bran and corn came into
being. Even less of us know that many masturbation myths can
be directly linked to the humble breakfast cereal. The two are
linked in more ways than you might imagine, read on and find
out how...
Many
of you will be familiar with Graham Crackers but not many with
the thinking that lead to it's creation. Sylvester Graham [1794-1851]
was a free thinker and reformer in his time. In the 1830's the
American diet consisted mainly of red meat and blood. Graham
specialized in highlighting the perils of poor eating and masturbation.
Until Samual Tissots book: Treatise on the Diseases Produced
by Onanism the evils of masturbation had been simply a moral
one, Graham took this a step further and made it a health issue.
In the 1830s Graham took his show on the road, lecturing an
inquiring public about the perils of self pollution, as masturbation
was then refereed to. As the first of it's kind it had an amazing
impact on the general populace and the man behind it was just
as dynamic. He sought to revolutionized the diet and sexual
behavior of a whole country and in many ways was successful.
Graham knew his audience well and if he were alive today no
doubt would make a wonderful spin doctor given his grasp of
rhetorical devices. He was a master at making claims that no
one could disprove or that maybe would disprove would be a more
accurate interpretation. Considering that he preached that masturbation
caused it's victims to become shy, suspicious, languid, unconcerned
with hygiene and in acute cases to suffer from hysteria you'll
see how hard it would be for your average masturbator to disprove
his theories.
Around
1834, Graham stopped lecturing about sexuality and turned his
thoughts towards sound nutrition. The truth was his lectures
had become to unpopular for him to continue, but our friend
Graham was determined to find a way to spread his thoughts.
Graham believed that there were two kinds of hunger -sexual
and nutritional- and that both kinds threatened good health.
As
influential as Tissot was on his thinking an equally strong
influence came in the shape of the English Clergyman, William
Metcalfe. Metcalfe was the first advocate of vegetarianism in
America. Again Graham interpreted Metcalfe's writings and thoughts
into his own, while Metcalfe argued vegetarianism on moral ground,
Graham was more concerned with the carnal passions that eating
meat produced in people. At that time the stomach was the considered
the major organ in the body, so anything that inflamed it was
compared to lust. Graham actively promoted a vegetarian diet
and claiming it was a cure for almost every form of human sickness.
The cure consisted of sexual moderation [no more than twelve
times a year for married couple] exercise [this will help with
nocturnal emissions, he told us] and proper diet.
As
strange as this may seem to many of us today, the Graham movement
was a powerful on back in the eighteen hundreds. By 1840, his
public career was over but his ideology remained deeply ingrained
in society and had influenced a number of bran loving entrepreneurs.
One of those was James Caleb Jackson [1814-1895], a diet expert
who combined Grahams health reform plan with his own idea's
namely hydropathy. Hydropathic therapy, also known as the water-cure,
involved applying extremely cold water -- showers, tubs, soaks,
and wet-packs -- to different parts of the body. Jackson's real
brainstorm, however, was creating a stone-like wafer out of
graham flour and water. He called his treat Granula, and would
later go down in history as having made the first cold breakfast
cereal.
Graham's
legacy to the world was what we today know as the graham cracker
all be it a sweetened and processed version of the one that
was served during his lifetime at the many Graham hotels and
boarding houses that sprang up in his time and believed in his
preaching. Although Graham's career had ended, his effects on
sexual and nutrition teachings still remained popular and the
invention by Jackson of Granula was a major break through in
both aspects for one Doctor and Seventh Day Adventist, one John
Harvey Kelloggs.
Granula
at the time wasn't pleasant to taste by any stretch of the imagination
and was not popular but Jackson had a ready made market in the
form of his patients at his sanitarium in Dansville NY, were
it was readily feed to the residents. It was here that on the
advice of an angel, one Sister Elen White of the Seventh Day
Adventists visited and asked Jackson to duplicate his Dansville
establishment in Battle Creek Michigan, the home and world headquarters
of the Seventh Day Adventist movement. This facility would later
become known as the Kellogg Sanitarium of just "The Sans"but
the fact is the institute was to play a key role in not only
revolutionizing the American breakfast but also the idea's behind
health nutrition and sex.
When
Sister White first opened the Sans she was a health reformer
pro. Inspired by Jackson and Graham, she too published a book
on masturbation in 1864 called, An Appeal to Mothers: The Great
Cause of the Physical, Mental and Moral Ruin of Many of the
Children of Our Time. As we can see from the passage below even
though this text was written by a women, women were still regarded
as the weaker sex.
"Females
possess less vital force than the other sex, and are deprived
very much of the bracing, invigorating air, by their indoors
life. The results of self-abuse in them is seen in various diseases,
such as catarrh, dropsy, headache, loss of memory and sight,
great weakness in the back and loins, affections of the spine,
the head often decays inwardly. Cancerous humor, which would
lay dormant in the system their lifetime, is inflamed, and commences
its eating, destructive work. The mind is often utterly ruined,
and insanity takes place. "
Sister
White although intelligent, proved to be no leader and the Sans
floundered for about ten years until a quirky young doctor named
John Harvey Kellogg, took over daily operations. Kellogg was
another Graham disciple and advocate, he was also highly regarded
within the Adventists for his hard hitting medical journalism.
Unlike Graham, he openly embraced medical science and was constantly
experimenting with whole grain foods. Two years into the job,
he invented the first Battle Creek health treat, which consisted
of a mixture of oatmeal and corn meal, baked into biscuits and
then ground into bits.
For
some reason he decided to call his treat Granula, a strange
decision when you realize that the only other cereal on the
market was also called Granula. Once they finished suing him,
Kelloggs took the decision to remain his new product, Granola.
Granola wasn't the only delicacy that was served to the inmates
of The Sans. Other specialties included Caramel cereal coffee,
Bulgarian yogurt and meat substitutes.
At
one point in his career Kelloggs concentrated his research solely
on nuts. He wrote a paper entitled "Nuts May Save The Race"
During this period of his studies he is believed to have invented
peanut butter as well as malted Nuts. As strange as it may now
seem this bland diet helped turn around the fortunes of the
once failing Sans. Kelloggs believed that most of the patience
admitted to the Sans simply suffered from Americanitis and the
remedy was simply a change in diet. The cure rate at the Sans
as was remarkably high at The Sans simply because no one that
was seriously ill was ever admitted. Kelloggs never admitted
any chronic masturbators to the Sans either, this suited his
purpose and like Graham continued to preach the doom and gloom
of such abhorrent practices.
On the night of his Honeymoon, Kelloggs spent his time writing
his most famous book, "Plain
Facts for Old and Young, a warning on the evils of sex"
An amazing collection of symptoms and cures for the curse
known as self pollution as well as covering all important sexual
ills of the time, but self pollution was by far the biggest.
He included the 39 signs that indicate someone who masturbates,
a list that just about covers anyone who even vaguely looks
human. #7. Sleeplessness, #11. Love of solitude, #12. Bashfulness
and #13. Unnatural boldness, #14. Confusion of ideas, #24. Capricious
appetite, #28. Use of tobacco, #30. Acne.
This was a clever ploy from his point of view. Just as Graham
had done before him it was extremely difficult for anyone to
prove the theories wrong. DR Kelloggs was never wrong, his way
was the only way and to prove a point although he married he
never consummated his marriage to Ells Eaton and they lived
in separate apartments. This was supposed to prove that sexual
relationships were not neccasary to obtain good health.
It's
quite likely, though, that the doctor was in some way dysfunctional
(one book suggests he had mumps). After breakfast every morning,
he had an orderly give him an enema. This may mean he had klismaphilia,
an anomaly of sexual functioning traceable to childhood in which
an enema substitutes for regular sexual intercourse. For the
klismaphile, putting the penis in the vagina is experienced
as hard, dangerous, and repulsive work.
Whatever
the reasons for his beliefs, they had long lasting effects on
society and many of the myths that still surround masturbation
can be directly attributed to his way of thinking. The Sans
became more and more famous and DR Kelloggs, himself became
something of a demagogue. He began to concentrate less on his
fundamental beliefs and more on scientific facts and theories.
A
major step in this direction came when a patient showed him
a little wheat mattress a friend had sent her to aid her digestive
problems. Invented by Henry Perky from Denver, they were what
we now know as Shredded wheat. At this time shredded wheat was
not thought of as a breakfast food. Originally it was a main
course, a natural food that followed the true Grahamite tradition.
As well as the original shredded wheat there was a whole host
of recipes associated with this biscuit. These ranged from Banana
croquettes with shredded wheat to cheese and shredded wheat
toast, the list was endless. Perky even founded a scientific
institute devoted to training demonstrators on how to educate
the humble housewife on it's uses.
In the humble shredded wheat the good DR Kelloggs saw the potential
for the first ready to eat breakfast cereal and went about creating
his own. After much experimentation he came up with Granose,
the first flaked wheat cereal. Once again the The Sans featured
heavily in the development of this little wonder flake. As Kelloggs
put his idea's into commercial production he met with some stiff
opposition, not least from Perky himself who wasn't about to
let anyone rip off his invention and had taken no less that
47 patents out with regards to Shredded wheat. The effect of
the cereal wars was that Battle Creek exploded with cereal and
health food manufacturers and almost overnight the place began
known as cereal central. Many more wars ensued in the battle
for the cereal that would rid the world of all it's ailments.
John Kellogs was finally forced to turn the ailing Kelloggs
company over to his brother, William who although he had worked
at The Sans with John, had little interested in curing the public
of bad eating habits and masturbation but in making money. So
was born the Kelloggs brand as we now know it today but it's
original founder left his legacy in the myths that still surround
masturbation to this day.
So
now you know the story behind Snack, Crackle & Porn...