Written
By: Roger
My
first experiences with sexuality were like
most boys, I expect; disjointed emotions
and experiments starting from an early age.
I don't ever remember not having erections.
They popped up unexpectedly, sometimes to
my mother's embarrassment.
I
remember being about eight years old and
needing an enema, and after that having
a love affair with that little rubber bulb
filled with warm, soapy water. When I locked
the bathroom door, I would fill the syringe
with lukewarm water and insert it in my
anus with the feeling of filling up my bottom
and squirting it back out. Even though I
knew nothing about sex, the sensation of
tepid water shooting up my rectum was very
appealing to me.
Also
about that time I remember my mother talking
to her friend and the friend telling her
that when she was a little girl and was
naughty, her angry mother would pull down
her panties and paddle her bottom. I pretended
I was asleep, but at her description of
her punishment my little weenie stood at
attention.
When I was about ten, I could not believe
the stories I heard on the playground about
what a father and mother had to do to make
a baby. They seemed absurd at first, and
I certainly couldn't imagine my own mom
and dad doing such a thing. But it seemed
more plausible when the neighbor girl described
how her female cousin had been babysitting
her and had put her to bed upstairs; and
she had sneaked part way down the stairs
to see her cousin leaning against the living
room wall with her panties down, and her
fully dressed boyfriend against her, putting
his "thing" (as the neighbor girl
called it) in her. She laughed at how his
butt moved. I laughed too, but felt my own
"thing" pressing against the cotton
of my briefs.
At
twelve I can recall having an erection inside
my pants while we were in the garage, and
taking the same neighbor girl (who was close
to my age) by the hand so she could feel
it, how hard it was. At the same age I also
took my pants down in my father's old panel
truck so she could see my penis naked; she
squealed at the sight of it close-up, and
I was surprised at the length it stood out
from my body. Also, I remember the two of
us playing in our walk-in closet under a
blanket, and I would put my hand under her
dress on top of her panties and press my
fingers into the soft flesh of her little
pussy, causing her to scream with delightful
indignation and slap my hand.
That
was also about the time that one of my good
male friends from school who lived near
us would bring over some hand-written stories
of his older female cousin's sexual escapades,
swearing that she had written them herself
(although I suspected he was the true author)
describing such things as soda bottles in
her vagina and playing with the pet dog
until he came in her hand. I must admit
that whoever was the writer, I got quite
an education as he read the graphic descriptions
out loud.
But it was at the age of thirteen in the
early sixties that I was initiated into
the sensuous world of masturbation. I was
locked in the bathroom, sitting on the commode
when I started playing with my foreskin,
moving it off and then back on to the head
of my erection. It was such a beautiful
feeling that it made me shiver; I repeated
the motion over and over again, with the
tips of my fingers grasping the foreskin
like one of those claw machines you see
at the mall. I could feel a warm sensation
rising up my cock like the mercury in a
thermometer and I backed off, letting it
settle down and then started rubbing it
again. Even though I had listened a few
times to boys at school describing how they
jacke!
d off I really didn't associate it with
what I was doing.
But
the last time I manipulated the foreskin,
the feeling became more intense and I quickly
pulled my hand away; now it was throbbing
without my touching it at all, and waves
of sensation were coursing down my ball
sack and thighs. Suddenly my stiff penis
began erupting like a small volcano, sending
what seemed like torrents of hot white lava
pouring out of the opening and running down
the shaft. For the first time my body seemed
to be out of control, and I asked God not
to punish me for what I had done. When it
was over I was a gummy mess, and so was
the toilet seat and the pants and underwear
around my ankles, and my legs were weak
with pleasure, the head of my penis sensitive
to the touch.
I
imagine something similar happens to young
girls, only without the benefit of orgasm,
when they have their first period. No matter
how many pamphlets they read or how many
discussions they have with their mothers,
the first sight of blood betweens their
legs must be a traumatic sight for some
girls, making them wonder what they did
wrong.
But
the mess and the fear of God didn't deter
me from trying it again and again and again
as the days went by. As with any endeavor,
the longer I did it the better I got and
I soon learned that by turning my hand so
that the fleshy heel of my thumb was under
the dark ridge of my hard-on, it would act
as a cushion while I jacked it under the
sensitive head, like milking a cow, only
upside-down. That way I could use less or
more pressure and movement to control the
urge of my impending ejaculation. And when
I did spurt it was a glorious experience,
with the surging cream leaping out of my
penis inches in the air, causing me to wonder
sometimes if anyone ever died from the ecstasy
of self-pleasure.
Until
I was about fourteen or so, because of the
negative impression from movies and television
about a woman's reaction to certain things
sexual, my beginning masturbation fantasies
were about masturbation. While stroking
myself I would fantasize about a cute girl
from school sitting next to me and unzipping
my pants, pulling out my penis and rubbing
it smoothly and sweetly, asking me if it
felt good and if she was using the right
amount of motion and firmness on it. She
would be very attentive at my every word
as I explained the finer points of jacking
me off. In the fantasy I would manage to
gasp the words "Yes, that's it!"
before her tender grip would cause me to
explode my semen over her fingers with such
power that she would be amazed at how much
shot out and with what force. My childish
male ego also imagined that she would wipe
up the cum for me and tell me how impressed
she was with my ability to ejaculate.