One
of the most nerve wracking things many of us do in our lives
is ask a potential date out. But asking them out you are admitting
than you like them and are interested in getting to know them
better and that's an important thing to remember. The nerves
for most people come from the fear of rejection we all dread.
No one likes to be rejected but there are times when if you
don;t ask you never find out.
The
best way to limit your chances of rejection or at least to
minimize the damage is to follow a few simple rules that I've
listed below:
Never
Ask In Public:
Do not ask someone out in front of friends or bystanders.
Instead chose a time when you are both alone, but do it in
person. I've seen many people ask friends to relay the message
only to have it end in disaster because the friend conveys
the wrong message, does it with a smirk and let's face it
if someone was going to ask you out wouldn't you be more likely
to say yes if they were stood in front of you. Also don;t
simply leave a note and hope for the best! People can ignore
notes and worse say they never got it, which means you've
lost your chance. Don't do it over the phone, it's not easy
to read someone's facial expression over the phone. Do it
in person and do it in style.
Know
What His/Her Interests Are
This can go a long way to achieving the difference between
a yes and a no. Take a little time and do you homework on
what they like or dislike. For example if they enjoy reading,
why not ask if they would accompany you to the local bookstore,
most have cafe's nowadays *wink* If the answer is yes then
you have the perfect opportunity to do more research, for
example find out which authors she likes and present her with
a tastefully wrapped copy of one of their books on your first
date.
Listen
and Learn
Everyone likes to feel special. And if you ask them what they
like, they're usually quite happy to talk about it. So ask,
and listen. If she loves the color pink, and you present her
with a bouquet of pink roses, she'll think you're amazing.
If he says he's a huge Starwars fan and you present him a
small model of Yoda, he'll wonder how you knew. People aren't
used to really being paid attention to. A lot of people in
the world ignore the important things. If you listen, and
pay attention, you're already ahead of the game.
Get
Into the Style
This is something you have to do subtly. Every person has
their own 'style' they enjoy, and they tend to hang out with
friends who share that style. If someone is into everything
Gothic, they probably hang out with a lot of Goth friends.
They enjoy Goth, they love being around it. They probably
have other types of friends too, but the Goth look makes them
happy. If someone loves long hippy outfits, they probably
naturally gravitate towards people who do. So pay attention
to your date and see how they like to dress, how their idols
dress, what makes them feel happy.
However don't leap into this! That will show you're a fake
that is just doing this for effect. But truly TRY small changes.
See if these changes make you happy too. Try just a small
change, to show you *care* what this other person cares about
and want to share. If you really like it, try other small
changes. Your date will notice that you're starting to appreciate
their style, and will be happy that you share the same feelings.