Written
by: Gottahvaviper
Hi,
I'm a 40 year old woman who for the first time has taken the
plunge into exploring her sexuality. I've always been able to
please myself from a very early age but could never experience
orgasms with a partner. Part of this was due to not feeling
good about myself. I had the mindset that if I didn't find myself
attractive then no one else would either. With this way of thinking,
I have cheated myself of truly letting go of my inhibitions
and enjoying all aspects of sex. Time was another major problem
for me in that I felt like I had to hurry up for fear my partner
would become irritated or lose interest.
I
am currently separated and over the last 2 months have been
focusing on "loving" me by taking time, exploring different
techniques, using toys and different lubricants, speaking "naughty"
words for me to hear, etc.
I
never imagined that my "creative" writing shared with a very
close online friend has helped open up the sexual side of me
considering I was totally against cybering in chatrooms. I thank
him for that. :o) With his help, my new awareness and sites
like this one, Hubby and I have become open with our sexuality
and know more about each other now than we did during the 17
years of marriage. In the past, I never dreamed of touching
myself during sex much less masturbating in front of him. I
can do that now and feel good about it. I even showed him how
I please myself with a lovely string of yellow graduated beads.
He eagerly wants to eat me now and will take the time necessary
to satisfy me. This is probably because I don't look at it as
something nasty anymore but instead open wide and tell him to
dive in! In the past, we never used any toys to spice things
up but now I insist that he fills me with my silver bullet when
it's my desire.
I've
recently discovered on the internet that there's such a thing
as female ejaculation and am educated on the G Spot. I had heard
of this "spot" but never knew what or where it was. I'm currently
exploring that wonderful "spot" and hope to experience the effects
it has to offer in the near future.
Don't
get me wrong, I'm not totally without inhibitions but I've come
along way within a short period of time. I still find it difficult
to stay relaxed with my partner to allow his tongue to work
it's magic without the session becoming goal-oriented. I believe
this also, you shouldn't have to "work" for an orgasm, it should
come naturely. I am one of those women who can't achieve orgasm
through intercourse alone.
I
also find that when stimulating my clit and being penetrated
at the same time, I lose most all clitoral sensation. It's like
there's just too much activity going on at the same time. With
practice, perhaps a solution can be found. If anyone has any
suggestions, please let me know. Currently, the only way I can
get off with penetration is with me lying on my stomach rubbing
my clit and hubby is stroking his penis very slowly in and out
of me from behind. It feels wonderful and I only wish there
were other positions to allow me to enjoy the end result like
this without losing clitoral sensation.
One
last thing I'd like to say to all the women visiting your site,
discover the truly intimate you by tossing out the garbage,
and learn to love yourself and your body. With that attitude,
sexual experiences are bound to be more rewarding for you and
your partner. For the guys reading, be patient, as what works
today for your lady may not work tomorrow.
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